My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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