I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
