It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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