The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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