and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
