I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
