tonight lets celebrate not being married
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
