come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Drunk walkin through police station. America
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
