I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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