i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
