I faked an abortion last night.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
