I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
