Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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