I could make wine with my vomit
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
