Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
