It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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