Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
