Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
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