My sheets look like a crime scene.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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