Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The power of my boobs compel you
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
