god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
