The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
3 2 1 whiskey
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
