HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
