my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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