I am midnight drunk by noon
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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