I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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