No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm too high and old for this...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
