I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
