:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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