I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
