Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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