WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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