No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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