i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
