she woke up with a sticky ear
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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