I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
