Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
