She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
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