i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
