hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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