I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
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