Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
