she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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