I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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