would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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