Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
