I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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