OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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