Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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