Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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