How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
