he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's shark week go big or go home
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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