I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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