Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
