i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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