I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
