Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
