Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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