yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
