cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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