we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
