Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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