I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
