what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
