Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
