Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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